This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize