everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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