well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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