Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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