I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
