This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I deserve this hangover.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
