at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
