Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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