So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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