I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
