The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
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why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
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She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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