Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
