You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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