ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
