dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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