I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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