According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
this boner is exhausting
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
