Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
