somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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