My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
