I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It's blow job season.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
