capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Randomize
