Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
