my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
