you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
