life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
it's great music for shaving your balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize