put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
