also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
