i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Sober January is a disaster.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
