its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
