remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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