there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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