whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Randomize
