My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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