the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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