I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
