yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I intend to get homeless drunk
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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