mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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