Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
