my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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