the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize