u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
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