In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
