i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize