your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
