Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
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I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
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One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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