i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
