I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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