this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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