I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
