Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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