you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm sobbing to NWA
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
