his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
