we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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