Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
