i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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