Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Randomize
