You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
