Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
