I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
