I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
