1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
