I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
