the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
